Writing People Off / In
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Have you ever written somebody off? I'm talking about that person in your life or past that blew it or failed you or didn't come through when you really needed them to or didn't live up to expectations, etc.~and now just the mention of their name gets you thinking, "Oh yeah, that loser." And we run into them all the time. People who other people have written off. People who~they're a "loser" and they know it and they can't seem to forget it or shake the feeling because others, quite frankly, have refused to let it go. The bottom line about relationships is people are gonna mess up (except us?). The solution isn't writing them off. I'm not talking about bucking up, playing like you weren't hurt or stuffing your feelings. But then again maybe I am just a little. And what might things be like if we chose to write people in instead?Labels: forgiveness, lake tulloch homes, lake tulloch real estate, losers, mother lode real estate, real estate lake tulloch, real estate sonora, realtor
posted by Unknown at 8:14 AM
6 Comments:
I have written off losers, whiners, liars and energy-draining people. Sometimes it is a good idea to get away from people who don't support the best in yourself, people who don't respect you, people who don't respect themselves or the law...
To write in somebody is much more fun, but if most people are like me, they're cautious because they've had experience with people like the above.
In some cases, "writing someone off" is more about self-preservation than anything else. Chronically late people impact your life in dramatic ways, as do "crazy makers" -- people who seem to carry a crisis around with them at all times. Sometimes the best solution for all parties is to simply disengage.
I used to impetuously write people off quite often--then somebody wrote me off. The pain was unbearable--she was my best friend for 20 years. Now, I tread more cautiously. In the process, my communication and conflict resolution skills have improved.
I find that most people we write off deserve it. To explain would be way to complicated but if you are a forgiving person you probably wouldn't consider writing someone off like myself but there has been a few times where just choosing to let folks walk away was the best choice for all parties involved.
To Steve C: Sometimes, there is just no hope for some individuals who can't see beyond themselves, lack empathy or care about others. Trying first to mend relationships should always be the preferred way to go, but when you hit a brick wall, there is simply no hope for them and the only think left to do is WRITE THEM OFF. Some people are losers and incapable of having positive relationships even when things are not perfect, sad... So sad. But moving on is freedom and the best way to deal with them.
I don't "write people off" but rather let them go. You should never hold on to negative relationships that seem to never get better. I would say leave the door open for that person to return one day. Sometimes letting it go and having distance is a good thing & the relationship might come back one day in a more healthier & happy state. Always give others room to grow & change, but don't forget to check your issues.
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